Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Chai and Friendship
I really have to plant these flowers sitting in a too-small pot on my table- a gift from Easter. Today it's supposed to be quite warm, so no excuses!
Spring is finally here, both on the calendar and in the weather. Time to get out and about. I haven't felt very social during the long winter, but this week I had tea with a friend I haven't seen in months. (I ordered chai, she had a flavored green. Both yum!) We caught up with the periphery events of our lives, but agreed not to let it go that long again for a real chat. Online social media is useful for a general idea of what's going on with my friends and family, but we are becoming savvy enough not to share the real stuff with cyberspace.
In-person is still the best way to connect. Just making the time to go to a friend's house, or tidying up if they come over, or finangling schedules to meet up somewhere- it shows you care about the relationship. I have to admit I am not the best at making meet-ups happen, and so I am very grateful for friends who get the ball rolling.
There is one friend I have who is so inclusive; I love her. She came into my life when I was having a really hard time maintaining relationships and she just kept inviting me to get together, not worrying if it was my turn, or caring if I was fun enough. I just had to show up. She would introduce me as her "new friend" and that was that. She had made the decision and slowly I came to a place where I could return the favor (somewhat, I'm not that social) and now I count her as one of my solid friends in life.
Of course, maintaining a friendship and having tea at the same time is better. The pleasant flavor can make me relax and focus on my companion- in real time, in real space. Actually chatting with a friend, drinking tea, and knitting is best. I listen when my hands are busy.
I'm not a phone person- the disembodied voice is weird, always has been. I love texting, email, and real letters and cards. Some friends are too far away for regular face-to-face chats, so I send them tea in the mail in a card scribbled with love. I keep the post in business. Post-a-gram is one of my favorite apps.
Reading what I just wrote makes me sound like a friend who really takes time for others, but that's not being honest. I do get together with people, I do send things in the mail, but not often enough. Maybe. What is often enough? I don't know. I have a family and extended family that take up most of my time and energy- gladly! So friendships are hard work. Not just scheduling but the love. How much can my heart open?
Sages say infinitely.
Thanks, sages, but I'm not there yet. The most I can do it let the tea steep, the steam rising with good intentions, as I try to savor each sip with a friend.
Move with intention.